"Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect."
Steve Rushin.
"A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another."
Jimmy Cannon.
"Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental."
Jim McKenny.
"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"
Jacques Plante.
"By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series."
Steve Rushin.
"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept."
Doug Larson.
"Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be."
Wayne Gretzky.
"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
Rodney Dangerfield.
"We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital."
Brad Park.
"Hockey is murder on ice."
Jim Murray.
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