"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Rich Cook.

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."
Rita May Brown.

"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men."
Isaac Asimov.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
Paul Ehrlich.

"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
Patrick Murray.

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."
Leonard Brandwein.

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."
Dennis Ritchie.

"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."
Al Goodman.

"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."
Eric Porterfield.