"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when
I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd
learned in seven years."
Mark Twain (...more
Mark Twain Quotes). "The child was a keen bed-wetter."
Noel Coward.
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife
cheats on me."
Rodney Dangerfield.
"My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And,
looking back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward
to beating the shit out of my own kids, for no reason
whatsoever."
Denis Leary (...more
Denis Leary Quotes).
"When you're eight years old nothing is your business."
Lenny Bruce.
"In general my children refuse to eat anything
that hasn't danced in television."
Erma Bombeck.
"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into
more trouble."
Martin Mull.
"I never met a kid I liked."
WC Fields.
"I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder
but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder."
Craig Charles.
"Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict
their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers."
Socrates.
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