"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!"

"Women should be obscene and not heard."

"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."