"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."

"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

"I failed to make the chess team because of my height."

"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."

"Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."

"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."