• I only had one officer Mr. Keg.
• Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
• Want to race to the station, Sparky?
• I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb
Hideout!
• On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
• You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
• Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20
minutes!
• Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
• How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting
me.
• Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just
glad to see me?
• I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3
for 1 special!
• Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer,
but could you hold my beer for a minute?
• Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h)
to keep up with me! Good job!
• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector
wasn't plugged in.
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical
condition to be a Police Officer.
• Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
• You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish
high school instead.
• "Bad Cop! No Donut!"
• I was trying to keep up with traffic.
• You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
• "Lets do it different this time... I will give
you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth
and blow"
• Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last
week on TV?
• Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next
to my girlfriend's bed.
• I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing
my ticket
• So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
• Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday
only gave me a warning too!
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least
one of us does.
• So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't
let you play with your gun when you were little?
• Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this
.44 magnum.
• When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile
for the camcorder.
• Is it true that people become policemen because they
are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
• Aren't you one of the Village People?
• Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
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